Good Morning. Please Take Out a Pen.

Dear Female Reader,

            Take out your journal. Record this entry as entry number one and today’s date. Now answer this question: why do you think your boyfriend wants to break up with you? Analyze choices that range from bad morning breath to your possible possession of a dud personality. In the form of a paragraph, I want you to decide whether or not your boyfriend’s desire to end your relationship proves valid. You will have about seven minutes. Now go! I want you to make quick decisions here. QUICK. You have an idea? Go with it. Just run with it. Any idea at all in regards to why your boyfriend wants to leave you in the dust. Ok now you should finish up your last sentence here. Time has run out. Now stop! Pencil’s down! I said stop and stop means stop!! Now read over what you have written. I have made my own journal entry speculating what your response would contain. In my opinion (also known as the correct answer), you epitomize the “clingy girlfriend.” You know, the one that texts him too often, cannot go four seconds without holding his hand, and calls his mother to verify his whereabouts on a Tuesday night. In this regard, I can relate only to my ex-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio. But please, you think I clung to him? Absolutely not. When my voicemail began to overload and my email crashed, I decided Leo and I must take a break. In order to avoid your boyfriend making a similar decision, I advise that you give the boy some space. And who knows? I have since felt twinges of regret for leaving Leo, so maybe your boyfriend will feel the same.

                                                         
                                                                                                       All my best,
                                                                                                             Ms. Serensky